It Has No Red Dots

During my 1st grade year, I suspect my Mom was tempted to turn in her “Mom” badge.  It started when I came down with the measles, passed it on to my toddler brother, who passed it on to our baby brother.  Almost immediatley picking up where the measles left off, the chicken pox tweeted in.  One by one, we were poxed and my poor Mom was hovering close to nervous breakdown country.  My grandmother who lived in another state came to her daughter’s rescue.  I’m sure my Grandmother was a sight to her daughter’s sore eyes on the day she arrived to help out with her red dotted/chicken poxed grandkids.

I have a few memories of having the measles.  I remember I had them so bad that when they took me to the doctor, I was escorted through a back door because I was covered from head to toe.  Perhaps they were afraid my appearance would empty the waiting room.  The doctor said I was even broken out in my ears.  I remember getting out of bed and looking in the mirror and being overwhelmed with the sight of my red-dotted face.  I just fell back on the bed.

Unlike measles, there are no red dots or any color of dots for Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD).  It isn’t near as easy to diagnose as other disorders or illnesses, short or long term, whose symptoms are obvious to the eye of the beholder.

I sort of wish in an odd sort of way that there was some easily identifiable sign for ASD like the measles’ red dots.  Oh, I wouldn’t want to have as many dots as I had decades ago.  Just one would do and it wouldn’t have to be red.

I do have ASD behavior traits but I work hard every day to hide them.  On one hand, I want my companions to know I have ASD; however, on the other, I don’t want to show my symptoms.  For instance, I don’t rock back and forth like nobody’s watching when I’m NOT alone.

Now if there was a video camera filming me when I am entirely alone, having a meltdown,  I suppose it would reveal my ASD as the red dots of decades ago revealed my measles.





Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s