ASD is Here to Stay

Although I work hard not to make it show, autism spectrum disorder (ASD) is a massive part of me and it leaves me with a lot of explanations for almost everything I do or don’t.

For instance, sometimes I want to go out.  I no sooner go out that I am wanting to go back home.  Silly I know.  Logic doesn’t have much to do with my ASD.

Routine is essential to me.  It can be so subtle that I might not even recognize it as a routine.  Such as I always have a sandwich for lunch.  How I make and eat the sandwich is also routine.  I won’t go into details.  I’ll just say no one taught me how to eat or make it that way and I’ve never seen anybody do it the way I do.

I do many daily tasks in sequence – first this, second that, etc.  Such as when I dust my room.  I always dust a certain day of the week.  I always start with the computer desk.  It is the biggest piece of furniture with all its many compartments.  Once it is dusted, it is downhill from there.

I can stand in front of a group and speak on a topic of interest without stage fright.  I’ll even lavish the attention.  But a conversation with one or more people is tricky.  In the course of a conversation, I may be asked questions that I don’t have time to process.  If have to give an answer right there on the spot, it probably won’t come out right and won’t be my best answer.  I will days, weeks, or even years later think of what I would have said if I had the chance to do it over again.

I came across something someone wrote:  The older I get, the more I understand it’s okay to live a life others don’t understand.   I relate to that quote.  I’m working on being content with my companion that never sleeps — ASD.  I might as well since it is here to stay.


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