Although I work hard not to make it show, autism spectrum disorder (ASD) is a massive part of me and it leaves me with a lot of explanations for almost everything I do or don’t.
For instance, sometimes I want to go out. I no sooner go out that I am wanting to go back home. Silly I know. Logic doesn’t have much to do with my ASD.
Routine is essential to me. It can be so subtle that I might not even recognize it as a routine. Such as I always have a sandwich for lunch. How I make and eat the sandwich is also routine. I won’t go into details. I’ll just say no one taught me how to eat or make it that way and I’ve never seen anybody do it the way I do.
I do many daily tasks in sequence – first this, second that, etc. Such as when I dust my room. I always dust a certain day of the week. I always start with the computer desk. It is the biggest piece of furniture with all its many compartments. Once it is dusted, it is downhill from there.
I can stand in front of a group and speak on a topic of interest without stage fright. I’ll even lavish the attention. But a conversation with one or more people is tricky. In the course of a conversation, I may be asked questions that I don’t have time to process. If have to give an answer right there on the spot, it probably won’t come out right and won’t be my best answer. I will days, weeks, or even years later think of what I would have said if I had the chance to do it over again.
I came across something someone wrote: The older I get, the more I understand it’s okay to live a life others don’t understand. I relate to that quote. I’m working on being content with my companion that never sleeps — ASD. I might as well since it is here to stay.