Autism Never Sleeps

Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) is a neurological condition.  It makes up the core of me.  It affects how I see, hear, and experience the world I live in.  It sometimes even enters my dreams.

ASD never sleeps.  I wouldn’t get far from running from it since I would be running from myself.  It leaves me with a lot of reasons for what I do or not experience.

It is a daily task to make my constant companion as invisible as possible.  I didn’t know until after my diagnosis that there is a word for this:  PASSING.   I was “passing” long before I ever heard the word “Autism”.

I cannot in public get away with “stimming to my delight” without getting stares.  If I rock too much in a chair that isn’t a rocker, if I pace in circles, or carrying on a conversation in public with myself, I would receive unwanted attention.  Since I’d rather not be the headline story amidst my social circles, I follow the social do’s and don’t’s.  I “pass”.

Passing is doable.  I’ve had plenty of practice.  It can be exhausting, though, to wear a smile when I’m in meltdown country and a volcano is erupting inside.











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