Trust

 Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.

Proverbs 3:5

This verse was not a hard one for me to memorize.  It is short and to the point.  A wise saying to keep in one’s heart.  I admit, though, this proverb is much easier for me to recite than it is to live it.  But if I don’t live it, it doesn’t do me much good to recite it.

My day job is a substitute teacher’s aide.  Sometimes my assignment takes me to gym classes.  Besides tying shoes, I am often asked by a student to hold something for them until they are finished playing a game or until after class.  The student puts it in my hands with complete trust.  They may sweat through gym class because the coach is giving them a workout, but not because they fear I will lose what they have entrusted me with.  They don’t fear I will claim ownership and not give it back to them.  That’s how it should be between me and the Lord with items on my plate.  I should hand whatever it may be over to Jesus just like a student hands over a valuable.

I can’t keep storms from popping up in my life no more than I can control the weather.  If it were up to me, our daily forecast would be sunny, clear skies, 70 temps, and a nice breeze.  It doesn’t work that way with the weather and it sure doesn’t in life.  There’s always a life storm, big or small, brewing up somewhere.

I do have a choice about how I respond to stormy weather.  The option of taking matters into my own hands, wading through it myself, is as effective as my singing the rhyme, “Rain, rain, go away…” and the rain obliges.  The other option is Proverbs 3:5.

A good start to any lemon tossed at me is a talk with Jesus.  That’s not all there is to it though.  It is waiting and acting on the Lord’s guidance or instruction as I make my way through the storm day by day.  He knows where I need to be on any given day, who I may need to meet, and what words I need to say.  It may be a short rain shower or it may be stormy weather for a long spell.

One of the opportunities to live this proverb was late in 2016 when I realized that Autism wasn’t something that children had or someone else’s kid had or an adult had who acted a little strange at times.  I learned the word applied to me too and it was the “it” behind why I have long felt I was the lone cow in the pasture.  Knowing there is an “it behind it and what “it” is, is of tremendous help, but it doesn’t cure or change it.  It doesn’t stop a meltdown volcano from erupting.  It doesn’t make it easier to socially interact without the exhaustion afterward.  It doesn’t make things easier that are a snap for others.  The only thing to do to is to heed the proverb.  That in good times and bad times of living with my companion, I trust in Him and not try to figure out my Autism.

The sun will come out.  I haven’t been in a storm that it didn’t.  It didn’t always end as I had wished for in my dreams.  It just ended for the best.  How do I know I got the best outcome?  That’s where trusting the Lord knows better than my own understanding comes into play.

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