My Bigger Perspective

I’m fortunate to have a job where I work with teachers who teach children with an Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) and with the students themselves. I have a teacher’s empathetic ear to my own ups and downs of living on the Spectrum. The students with ASD are my fellow Spectrum travelers. Helping students whether they are in general or special education is therapeutic. The icing on the cake is I earn a paycheck and receive therapy at the same time.

It is always a treat to have an assignment at the school where I initially suspected I had ASD. The specific behavior of one of the students was the light bulb that led me to my diagnosis near the end of 2016.  Seeing her reminds me of the impact she unknowingly had on me.  She can’t hold a conversation but she does know me by sight. To say she is special is an understatement.

One of my assignments at this school took me from classroom to classroom working with special ed students who attend general ed classrooms. I spent a little time with a 4th grader who needed assistance with getting around. She can’t use stairs and so one of my chores was to escort her up and down the elevator. She is so determined to be independent! I think she could have operated the elevator with her eyes closed since she has to use it so much.

One of the staff has the job of taking special ed students out of their classroom and holding one-on-one or small group sessions. We had a couple of conversations about ASD since her son was diagnosed at a young age of having ASD. I told her of my own ASD behaviors/obsessions and I didn’t tell her anything that surprised her. My behavior and that of her son was more alike than different. She cited examples of her son’s traits/obsessions and it sounded all so familiar. I was uplifted by this conversation. I could talk to this lady for hours but when it was time to sign out and go home, I did since I had to stick to my routine. The teacher did say something that I took with me and inscribed in my heart:

“I have the perspective of a parent with a child who has Asperger’s. I have the perspective of a sibling who grew up with a brother who has severe Autism. I teach children who are on the Spectrum. But you have a bigger perspective. It is your life!”

I understood what the teacher said about it being my life. It affects every aspect of it. If I could somehow even for a short time separate myself from my ASD, I don’t know who I’d be but it sure wouldn’t be me.

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