The Weather of Autism

Just as the weather, there is sunshine and then there is stormy weather. There are warm days and there are cold. If it wasn’t for the storms and ol’man winter, I wouldn’t appreciate so much the warm, sunny days.  So it is with my autism.

What are some signs a person with Autism Spectrum Disorder shows during a conversation?

I take in what someone says to me in slower motion.  My response will depend on how much time I have to process the input.  The less time, the odds increase of a response I’ll kick myself about later.  To give me a few more seconds for my brain to pop up a response, I often will ask for a repeat even though I may have heard what was said the first time.

I’m giving instructions like this:  “It’s on the third shelf from the top on the left side of the closet next to the package of red, yellow, and green folders. You can’t miss it.” You wanna bet? Just watch me!

I love hardball conversations about any one of my limited interests such as politics. If talking to someone whose view I don’t agree with, my mute button will come on.  If the other person shares my viewpoint, he or she will have a hard time getting a word in edgewise.

Rehearsing conversations with others in my mind is common practice.  The conversations either never happen or never come out the way I rehearsed.

The best part of a get-together of three or more is when someone says “I gotta be going”.  I call that R-E-L-I-E-F.

I came across something someone wrote: The older I get, the more I understand it’s okay to live a life others don’t understand. I relate to that quote. I’m working on being content with my companion that never sleeps — ASD. I might as well since it is here to stay.

I crave more clarification or specific information.  What’s unspoken that one assumes I know is mistaken.

When I say I want or need to leave, I am NOT kidding!

 

Is Aspergers in females seriously undetectable?

Since I have Asperger’s and I am a female, I know firsthand how easy it was for me to be in the dark about it for most of my life.  Even if I were growing up in the 2010’s when Asperger’s and Autism aren’t as foreign words as they were back in the 1960s, I still think I would fall under the radar.

Asperger’s in females is not undetectable, but it can be easily undetected. My opinion from being a female with Asperger’s and working in elementary school Autism units, females who have Asperger’s are more likely not to be detected as their male counterparts.

When I started working as a substitute teacher’s aide, it didn’t take me long to realize that the overwhelming majority of students in these classes are male. Their behaviors are usually more visible than the few female students there are.

As to the question of why are men more likely than women to have autistic traits, or receive a diagnosis of autism, Professor Simon Baron-Cohen, director of the Autism Research Centre who, along with PhD student Emily Ruzich, led the Cambridge/Channel 4 study. They found there’s a lot of research showing that testosterone changes brain development.

Males on average produce more testosterone than females, even when in the womb, and the data shows that children with autism on average have higher levels of the hormone than typically developing kids.

This backs up a 2009 study that looked into the prenatal testosterone levels of typical four-year-olds. “The higher the child’s prenatal testosterone, the more autistic traits they had,” says Professor Baron-Cohen.

These findings suggest the critical factor may be hormone levels rather than gender and could be pivotal to further understand the higher rates of autism diagnosis in men. But, as Professor Baron-Cohen points out, “It’s only one piece of the puzzle.” He adds: “The nature of science means one new finding opens up a hundred new questions.”

Wendy Lawson, author of “Build Your Own Life: A Self-Help Guide For Individuals With Asperger Syndrome” and a self-described autistic woman, believes girls on the spectrum may be underdiagnosed because if they have obsessive interests (often a feature of spectrum disorders), these are more likely to be socially acceptable than the obsessions of boys with autism. Girls, she says, might get into reading or animals, which seem normal, “so people don’t pick up on our social difficulties.”

Jennifer McIlwee Myers, who has Asperger’s and is the author of “How to Teach Life Skills to Kids with Autism or Asperger’s,” concurs. She says boys on the spectrum are more likely to respond to their difficulties with anger and aggression, while girls are more likely to “deal with issues quietly,” cultivating extreme “niceness” and imitating other girls’ behavior. Boys who have the vision problems that sometimes go with Autism Spectrum Disorders may hit other boys, she explains, while girls might instead cling to other girls. And a boy who attacks other kids is going to get intervention a lot faster than a girl who cries quietly every day. Myers says there are “a lot of invisible girls” who are Autistic but never get help because nobody notices.

I personally didn’t realize how I try to act like other people until I learned I was on the Spectrum. I act “normal” to avoid making people mad and not being singled out as different. When I have been caught in my quirky behavior, the odd stares peeled at me are immensely painful.  Females on the Autism Spectrum may just be better at imitating neurotypicals than our male counterparts. And that imitation makes us invisible.

My Ideal Vacation with my Constant Companion

I guess dog-sitting for family members does not sound like an ideal vacation, but that’s how I spent mine during the summer of ’18.  I enjoyed sweet solitude on a farm in the hills of Oklahoma with just me, two dogs, three donkeys, a herd of cows, and other assorted country critters.  Being alone out in the country was the ideal vacation for me whose constant companion is Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD).

The vacation covered two separate trips.  One was a preview of about a week before the two-full week trip a few weeks later.   I had a BLAST on both trips after I got over the initial ANXIETY of being in different surroundings and a change in routine.  It took about 24 hours after my arrival for the arrival of calm.  A change in routine, no matter how much preparation beforehand, even if the destination is a vacation spot, raises my anxiety level.  There’s not much I can do about that other than telling myself it will pass.  It always does.

As for the dogs, Blu and Bailey, they were jumping up and down, wiggling their tales; that is when their adult parents came home … or, maybe more so when I drove off.  Just kidding.

I was asked more than once by inquiring and concerned folks before I left, “Aren’t you going to get LONELY in the country all by YOURSELF?”  If you ask me, that’s one of those common neurotypicals (NT) questions.  You see, for me, someone with ASD, being by myself on a vacation is equivalent to someone else’s ideal vacation of being on a cruise ship surrounded by others engaging in social activities.  No, I have never been on a cruise, but the thought of being on the ocean with a host of strangers gives me the chills in a frightening sort of way.  Perish the thought!

I didn’t think of myself as alone the entire time.  I did venture into town and had interaction with store clerks.  That was sufficient social interaction.

I had the dogs but they weren’t much company.  I don’t want to give the impression I don’t like dogs.  If I didn’t, I wouldn’t have signed up for dog-sitting duty.  I have wonderful childhood memories of having a dog as I was growing up.  The pet was my playmate and comforter.  I would have a dog of my own but I live with my Mom who likes dogs but not enough to own one.  I got along just fine with the dogs, but I knew they missed my brother and sister-in-law.

I had for comfort in my change of environment and routine my electronic gadgets.  I consider them my “comfort” necessities:  my computer, my smartphone, my voice-activated gadget (Amazon Echo), my two Segway electronic scooters, and my hoverboard.

Scooter riding was one ingredient that added excitement during my dogsitting tour of duty.  I had plenty of acres to scoot over.  I could scoot to my utter delight without worry about pedestrians or traffic.  Scooter riding is part of my daily routine and unless it is pouring down rain, lightning striking, thunder rolling, snow falling, or temps in the teens, I will go for a scooter ride.

Back in my suburban home, I ride my scooters at the parks.  Along with the enjoyment I get from riding them, I get UNwanted attention.  Sometimes the stops and stares are too much for my nerves.  Well, even though I was out in the country, I got more stares than I ever had before while I was riding my Segway scooter on the gravel road to the mailbox.  There were so many pairs of eyes that I didn’t bother to count.  Maybe my being a stranger in the area was one reason, but I reckon, too, they had never seen a Seggie before.  It didn’t bother me though.  I just paid the cows no mind.

All in all, it was one of my BEST vacations.  The main ingredient was time to myself.  It recharged my batteries.  Even if I had been dog-sitting at a beach house, mountain cabin, or a house in suburbia, it would still have been the ideal vacation for me and my ASD.

Now it wasn’t totally perfect but then what vacations are?  In my case, there were a few things I didn’t care for during my time in the country.  Namely flies, grasshoppers, and spurs.  They were far more attached to me than I was to them.